Although I only had my youngest brother in my life for seven years, I lost him forever yesterday. We were at a Metallica concert in Detroit. Something that I had been looking forward to since June when my husband had told me that he had gotten tickets as birthday gift for me. Jason’s twin, Jeremy, called me but I texted him and asked if I could call him back later because it was noisy even in between acts. He texted me back and said that I needed to talk to him now, that it was an emergency. I thought at first it had something to do with our father or his mom. I never expected him to say that Jason was dead. The sound around me drowned out by those words. I couldn’t process it. I had just spoken to Jason on his birthday on Friday. He sounded happy. Jason had texted me on Saturday warning me not to bring a purse to the concert. He couldn’t be dead. I told Jeremy I loved him and that I would talk to him later. Phillip asked me if I wanted to leave. I said, “No.” Music has always been therapy, especially heavy metal music.
I began to see the social media posts about Jason’s death before Metallica took the stage. I tried hard to ignore them. I turned off my iPhone because the battery was about ready to die anyway. When the show was over, I made my own post and included an image that struck me from the concert. One of the album artworks was a girl wearing a crown of roses with her heart ripped out of her chest. I told everyone on Facebook that was how I felt yesterday night. Like someone had ripped my heart of my chest. Seven years was not long enough to have an awesome little brother in your life. There is so much we never did, so much we never said. We did say “I love you” all the time though and we meant it.
Below you can see pictures of all the things we do together in those seven short years. From our first Christmas together in Key West, to our dinner dates, to the last time we saw each other at our eldest brother Jon’s wedding. I will cherish all of those memories. I wanted to end my memoir at Jon and Angel’s wedding. Now I think I may have to end it on bittersweet note. I will always love and miss you Jason.
