I had a very enlightened Zoom interview for a good hour today with Jean @ https://adoptionparadox.com/. Jean is an adoptee herself who is collecting stories from adoptees, adoptive parents, biological parents, and even biological siblings and half-siblings. She plans on sharing the good, the bad, the truth about adoption with the world and I love her mission. When I mentioned about maybe my adoptive parents were stricter with me when I was a teenager compared to how they were with my brother and sister, Jean told me that maybe my parents just wanted to protect me more and keep in a “glass bubble” of sorts because they had lost so much before they adopted me. I had never thought of it that way but looking back it does make sense.
She told me in an e-mail afterwards that hearing all the beauty in my story, even in the darkest parts, reminded her that there are still good people in the world. My adoptive family are good and kind people. My biological families are good and kind too. Even the family I married into is good and kind. Yes, there is trauma and darkness when it comes to adoption. Adoption at it is core starts with a loss. In my case, it is definitely the loss of my biological mother and the loss of time I could have spent with my biological half-siblings. I feel like we were ripped off. But the light of having them in my life now overcomes that darkness. The loss of my biological mother can never be replaced, but her light lives on in my maternal half-sister Julianna. I may never know why she gave me up, but I can cherish the answers I do have now.