After my podcast interview with Peggy from Adoptees at work, it occurred to me that I didn’t write about something important we talked about in my memoir. I just added it today:
While working at Goddard, there was one day when we were setting up my mini-mantee classroom (for little ones aged 12-18months old), and my co-teachers got into the conversation about what happened on the day that were born. I didn’t have a story like that. Of course, I had a cool gotcha day story, but I knew nothing about how I arrived into the world. I had to step out of the classroom for a bit and fight back the tears. Did Pamela ever get the chance to hold me? I knew she named me Marie. How many hours was she in labor with me for? Did she breast feed me at least once? Did she cry when they took me away from her? Those questions were swirling through my head. I wiped the tears and composed myself enough to return to the classroom.
Please keep conversations like this in mind when you talk to adopted co-workers who don’t have on the day you were born stories to share. Teachers, please don’t ask on the day you were born questions to young adoptee students in your classroom. Conversations and questions like that can be triggering and traumatic to an adoptee who doesn’t have anything to share.
Dana Ann Ozak's true adoptee memoir.