This was not easy to write about today. But I felt like I had to get the first draft of it added to my memoir. The boy who bullied me did apologize and I did see him at my class reunion. I forgave him but I can’t forget the harsh words he told me. I even forgive my 10th grade Algebra teacher. I think he should have fired though because I found via Facebook that I wasn’t the only student he bullied. Here is the first draft and I’m glad I finally got it written:
The algebra class was a toxic environment lead by the worst teacher who would bully students for not showing their work correctly at the blackboard. It didn’t help that I sat next to a boy who bullied me relentlessly. That boy called me ugly and stupid. Told me I looked like a monkey. It was then that I wondered what would happen if my teacher and this boy saw razor scars on my wrists. Would it make them stop knowing the hurt they caused me?
In the bathtub one day, I pressed the razor to my left wrist. I pressed it harder until it stung a little. A drop of blood appeared on the blue y shaped vein. I stopped. Put the razor down and washed away the blood. I couldn’t let my parents see that. They wouldn’t understand. They would lock me away in a mental institution. Yet, I still wondered what would happen if sliced my wrists up enough to leave scars. Would the bullying in my algebra class stop?
You have overcome a lot of cruel things in route to becoming a successful person. I know who you are referring to. I’m glad he apologized and if he isn’t the same person he was 30 years ago as he said to you, I can give him credit and forgive him too. Unfortunately there was someone at the reunion I’ll call him J.K. who threw things up to me that I didn’t need thrown up to me. It was in 6th grade when I was at my most vulnerable but not fully aware of my Autism. Those were all good learning experiences that have made me better. This person I’m alluding to could use diversity training, for all I know. As far as your teacher goes, yeah he should have lost his license long long ago. Keep walking with your head held high no matter what!
Thank you Nick and I think I know who you are referring to as well and yes that person really needs diversity training. I am proud of you my friend for the way you advocate for others, for the way you run so fast in so many races, for the strong person and friend you have grown up to be. I will keep walking with my head held high because the challenges I went through have made me stronger and turned me into the woman I am today 🙂
Love ya girl. You have always been a smart and kind soul. Having been bullied also, I feel you..